Chapter Text
Begs for mercy slipped through Fyodor’s mouth to deaf ears. Next thing he knew he was falling. The light was fading. Fyodor saw none. The golden gates closed harshly on him as he succumbed to gravity. Not even a heavenly creature could defy the laws of the mortal world. His wings felt heavy,a burden. His head feels sore after a brutal snatch of his halo. All he could remember were the last words of the angel of judgement. “You foolish pawn of the devil,”. It echoed through his blank mind. Nothing was processed clearly. The air was cold stiff. Breathing felt like,no,was torture,torture to his lungs. He fell more and more,into the abyss of fate. He wanted to scream,submit to the strings of fear,but pride wouldn’t allow it,still clinging onto him. It won’t let go. No matter how much he wanted it to do,it just won’t. His vision blurred. The bright pastel blue skies of heaven began to fade,revealing a dark void. He finally closed his eyes,letting fate take control of his path. Rest would have been predictable history.
That is if fate did not have other plans for him.
There he laid unconscious on a familiar foreign surface,the wind gently caressing his fragile face. His eyes were sealed tight as his chest moved in a repeated manner delicately. Up and down,up and down,so on and so forth. A figure loomed over the angel,approaching it cautiously as if it was an injured animal, fragility and vulnerability tainting the holy creature. With a stick,the figure nudged Fyodor’s lifeless body. The gentle pokes quickly progressed to a harsh stabs, yet his body did not offer the slightest reaction. Curiosity transitioned to annoyance as he gave the sleeping beauty another stab. The figure feigned a sigh coated with impatience. That ought to wake him up. Minutes passed. The angel slept,body loyal enough to not betray even the slightest movement. The figure sat next to the unconscious. He stroked the raven’s silky hair,still waiting for the angel to wake up. The stick was still poking the angel,at a gentler pace but similar harshness. Hit after hit after hit only for no responses. It felt like eternity…but all things have an expiry date. Consciousness soon blessed to the angel’s seemingly lifeless body. When the figure noticed a sign of life, his dull eyes glowed with emotions again.
“Heyyy,dove,are you awake?” The figure questioned,curiosity that was once been lost being present in his voice as Fyodor’s eyes slowly flickered open.
Grass felt like spikes to Fyodor’s back. His eyesight was blurry. Mind was still in the comforting embrace of dreamland as it slowly struggles to adjust to cruel reality. Cold was all he felt. Numbness of his wings simply accompanied it. He shifted to the unknown figure that was standing before him, features distorted . It looked like light. It resembled light. Maybe that was light itself. The sore pain on his arm snapped him out of his daze,the ‘light’ gaining more human features. His aching back did not help,only contributing to the overall throbbing pain that won't seem to leave his body. As his mind began to recognise reality,logical thoughts began to surface. Vision returned to his eyes but it had an unexpected companion: Confusion.
Fyodor had predicted a great number of ways on what might happen to him as he crashed into earth. He’d expected nature to surround him,wildlife threatening him,or even a mortal taking him captive, claiming him as his prized possession. After all, it’s not everyday one would be able to behold a sight like him. What he was not expecting was to be welcomed by an albino haired man wearing such indecent and informal clothing with mismatched coloured eyes which added color to his pale appearance, his facial expressions to be undeniably similar to one of an innocent child, poking him with a stick and calling him…’dove’?. The albino giggled at the raven,seemingly enjoying taking in the raven’s surprise hidden underneath his naturally calm exterior. He leaned in closer to the angel,the angel instinctively shifting away, and gave a grin which told many silent intentions.
“Doveyyy? Are you ok?” The man asked, concern not present at all, as he stroked the fallen’s limp black wing with delicate care that one might mistaken it for affection.
Fyodor remained silent, analyzing the man’s every movement. He's a curious child in the form of an adult, that's for sure. How unlucky Fyodor was to fall into the hands of such a person. Fyodor would much prefer dealing with someone with sinful intentions, as curiosity is the greatest sin. Sin is driven by one’s own wants with curiosity being no stranger to that statement. Furthermore Fyodor preferred to keep his past in the shadows . The albino shuffled the limped wing with great impatience, an indirect signal for Fyodor to answer his question.
“Indeed, I am quite well, thank you for inquiring,” Fyodor replied while sitting upright to meet the man’s gaze. The man’s eyes slightly widened at the angel’s formality before bursting out into a series of giggles, much to Fyodor’s confusion.
“I’m surprised you have the patience to reply that formality, anyone else would have freaked out by now,” The albino chuckled out as he caught his heaving breath from the giggles, “Say, you should be grateful that I did not hand you over to the authorities when I first saw you, an unconscious fallen angel”
Right, how could Fyodor forget. He was an angel. A fallen angel. In front of a mortal. In a world of mortals. Where angels are practically non-existent. It should make sense for one to take advantage of this opportunity,yet this mortal had only used him to satisfy his curiosities,nothing else. It was strange. Curiosity is the start of never ending sin.
“I beg your pardon, but why might that be?” Fyodor blurted out, mind too hazy to properly digest what he was going to say.
“Ah, still going on with that formality? Oh well,nothing much I could do anyways. Your kind is quite rare to the human world as you know it. It’s been 10 years since one had fell from up there” the man paused as he pointed up to the skies “and usually the authorities would capture them and send them to laboratories to experiment on them. If they are deemed unsuitable for such experiments,they would be sold as possessions the rich could keep,” he continued.
Fyodor nodded at the information,unfazed by the information of his kind. It was expected of mortals to do that, doing cruel inhuman things for the sake of knowing. As much that it does not make any sense,it does. Why should they care about a creature not of their own and serve no importance to the world except for mere existence? Still, there was a puzzle piece missing to the full picture.
“Might I inquire, what sets you apart from the common folk?” Fyodor asked. The albino gave the raven haired another grin for his question.
“Well well well,if you thought it was mainly because of pity or my own personal pleasure,you are severely incorrect my dear dove!” As expected “However,the main reason for why I do such acts is…”
Long excruciating silence filled between the two of them as the tension rises,bringing along impatience to Fyodor’s mind.
”…a secret~,” The man teased the angel,giving him a little boop on the nose.
Fyodor flinched at contact,impatience swiftly turning into annoyance. Though irritation was slowly taking over his body, his calm facade stayed. His vulnerability will never be a free display for this strange mortal.
Right now, he has to focus on himself and to do that, he shall find information crucial for his survival…right out of this eccentric mortal.
“Your reluctance to elaborate on the reason is understandable sir, but may I ask where we are now and what year it is…?” Fyodor questioned the albino.
The man smirked childishly at Fyodor’s oblivious question.
“Your obliviousness is adorable my dear dove,oh what should I do~” The albino chuckled, “Well then, I pity that everlasting curiosity of yours,so I shall help you, baby bird! We are currently in St.Petersburg,” a familiar place “and it's 2014!” 2..2014???
Fyodor's train of thoughts halted,not knowing how to react specifically to this situation. So was that the reason why a lot has changed?Fate’s cruelty was enough to pick this. How foolish of him was he to not predict this. He has last been on earth in 1889…1889. That was roughly 200 years ago. Who knows what could have happened in the world of the mortals. Perhaps that could explain the man’s unpleasant choice of clothing, a plain shirt covered by some tattered looking jacket and purposefully torn long pants. Still,how could such rags be a modern trend?
The man couldn’t contain his amusem*nt and spews of laughter erupted from his mouth as he saw Fyodor trying to hide his shock to the world. That sight is a better show to behold than the angel being shocked himself. Alas, he caught up to his dying breath amid the seemingly endless wheezing once again, looking over to Fyodor as if he was a newborn, unknown to the huge and mysterious world.
“Ooh,a newbie to the 2000s eh?” The man taunted Fyodor “I bet you haven’t heard of technology yet.~”
The words lingered in Fyodor’s bewildered state of mind. Just what is this so-called ‘technology’?
So Fyodor decided to do the most logical thing to do in such a situation: ask.
”May I ask-“
“Aaa-a-aa! That’ll be one hefty topic to talk about,I don’t want to tire your already worn out brain from that fall from the skies,baby bird,” the man swiftly interrupted. “How about I show you around,then on the way I shall explain to you everything that has happened that led to the splendide 2000s!” The albino suggested.
Fyodor's thoughts were not given enough time to function properly as the man quickly grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the unknown. Fyodor stared at the man in silence, not fully trusting the man yet. There’s something unusually off from his aura.
Out of nowhere, the man halted in his tracks and glanced over at Fyodor.
“Right…that,” The albino muttered out.
“That what?” Fyodor asked,slight confusion visible in his voice by the sudden halt.
The albino sighed.
“What else could I be talking about my wonderful dove? I’m talking about your bird-like wings and that fancy old cloak of yours!” The man explained it as if it was self-evident,” Obviously you have to do something or else people will get suspicious…unless you welcome slavery and experiments to that delicate fragile body of yours.”
The man lets go of the angel,placing his hands on his hips,emitting confidence from the pose.
“How about I find some disguises for you,eh? They’re my specialty~,” The taller one suggested,winking charmingly at the shorter,yet an expressionless look from the shorter was all he got, “Just sit back,relax,while let the mommy bird do all the work,baby bird, he’ll be back soon before you know it,” the man chuckled.
Fyodor looked at the strange mortal,questions about the new era still flooding his mind. It seems like fate has chosen this mortal to be his companion for the mortal world, a man of a cheerful aura. What possibly could ever go wrong?
“By the way, it’s Nikolai,Nikolai Gogol,how about you?”
“Right…it’s Fyodor…Fyodor Dostoyevsky,pleasure meeting you,Gogol.”
As those words were said,their futures intertwined,falling victim to the strings of fate.
———————————————————————————————————————————————
Footsteps were audible through the peaceful streets of buildings deemed plain in Fyodor’s eyes. Though the quiet atmosphere, Fyodor’s ears were bustling with unfamiliar noises. The sound of cars maneuvering, the sound of his feet hitting the material called ‘concrete’. The sight of women on the streets was unnatural. Debates of pride or disappointment of the new generation were ongoing in the angel’s mind. A voice of enthusiasm behind him broke the debate off into a tie.
“So,Fedya, how do you find the disguise eh?” Nikolai chirped.
Right,Fyodor,focus. Don’t get too deep into the details of the new generation. It’s a normal thing now.
The angel was wearing a black sweater with a long turtleneck,black baggy pants and a pristine white trenchcoat ,perfectly covering his disgrace of wings, which unexpectedly complements the overall outfit. Hopefully time will help him adjust to the new style of clothing.
“It’s-“
“Don’t need to thank the professional at disguises~” Nikolai intercepted with a smug smirk that was begging to be wiped off. Can’t this guy just let him speak out his thoughts in peace?
Fyodor sighed. As much as he wants to get irritated at the mortal,the angel knew better.
The albino chuckled at the raven,finding his irritation as perfect entertainment.
“Irritated at me? Too bad,I have your hand in mine,” Nikolai teased,tugging Fyodor’s hand playfully.
“That’s because I barely know this world and need directions,imbecile,” Fyodor replied bluntly,thoughts still bewildered to properly deal with Nikolai’s antics.
“Just be patient my dear dove as I shall gladly help your way around here,” Nikolai spoke as his grip on Fyodor’s bony hand became tighter as he dragged him to an unknown location.
The angel got slightly startled as he felt his body getting dragged at a rather fast pace. He’d simply followed the mortal’s steps,too weak to pull back. He felt exposed to the injuries fate may decide to inflict on him.
Nikolai started humming an unknown tune,being the only noise present between the two of them. It sounded like a rhyme of sweet melody meant for kids. The warm comforting tone,the sweet chime of each syllable,all meant for a child’s comfort. Perhaps this tune meant something to the albino singing it….
Fyodor listened to the tune,warmth infecting his once vulnerable heart,providing a sense of protection. Gullibility has never affected the angel,making this no different. Believing only endangers. Still,it’s a pleasant surprise to know that the albino’s teasing self has a soft spot.
As the mortal dragged along the angel,not planning to stop anytime soon,the angel decided to observe the surroundings of the new generation once more. It would be foolish of him to waste such an opportunity. The tall box which emits three different colours, red to yellow to green and repeat, was a new sight. It seems to stop those…roundish boxes with wheels when it shone the red light and enables them to move when the green light is shone. Not to mention they move on their own and mortals were entering in and out of them. Just what sort of witchcraft is-
A giggle could be heard behind him,breaking his thoughts apart once more.
“Silly birdie,why are you looking at the cars like that,” Nikolai goaded, hoping to see embarrassment present on the raven’s face.
Apparently, this witchcraft of those roundish boxes with wheels are called ‘cars’?
What an interesting choice of name for such a sorcery.
This continued for a while,the mortal humming while the angel analyzed. Occasionally,the mortal would tease the angel of his lack of knowledge,yet he failed to receive a reaction. It was like that until…
A sudden halt in movement snapped Fyodor out of his trance,causing him to tumble foward. The only thing that prevented an aching front was the mortal’s tight grip on the collar stand of his trenchcoat which was threatening to fall off,revealing his wings of dishonor.
“Gogol that was-“ The raven was about to scold the albino for his foolishness until the albino decided to pat his head reassuringly. The audacity of the mortals.
“Shhh,it’s ok sweetheart,just look at where we are now,” the albino whispered “We’re at my house silly,” He gave the raven another pat at the back.
Irritation morphed into confusion as realization dawned upon him. So this mortal took him to his house all along?
“So…how is it my dove?” Nikolai asked,a grin forming on the childish face as he locked the front door.
The interior was simple. The furniture gave off a calm feeling, the floors were well polished and it had a warm feeling.
Fyodor took out his trenchcoat and placed it on a chair,exposing his black and still sore wings.
“It’s…pleasant to say the least,” he mumbled.
The angel eyes roamed around the apartment,taking in every detail of it. It was different than the houses he used to live in,or stay in. His hand gilded onto every surface he could find, experimenting the different textures. The mortal giggled at the angel’s naivety.
Just then,he spoke up.
“Just how old are you,my dear dove?” Nikolai suddenly asked, an image of a curious child reflecting on his face.
Fyodor stared at Nikolai’s facial expression. It really did resemble a child.
“Angels don’t age…”
“Then how old are you physically,like when you died?”
“…19”
“19?!”
Nikolai’s child-like curiosity quickly shifted to surprise. Just what happened to this innocent looking angel that caused him to die at 19? A year after becoming an adult in terms of modern context, this is the time where one should experience the rise of their life,not their downfall.
“H-how did you die?” Nikolai stammered out,pity hidden in his eyes.
“A sickness called anemia…nothing much,” Fyodor mumbled,not wanting to elaborate more.
Anemia was an iron deficiency disorder. It should be easy to cure. Yet Fyodor still died from such a disease.Just how bad was the healthcare system back when Fyodor was alive? Or what if, it was not the healthcare system. What if it was Fyodor’s body,too weak to handle the slightest flu. Either way, God wanted him back young.
Silence packed with awkwardness became foe to the air. Fyodor continued his analysis of his surroundings while Nikolai stared at the angel with mixed emotions,unsure how to react. Yes,Fyodor died young but that was who knows how many years ago. The point is that it’s not even relevant anymore but why is pity still present within him? Maybe what Nikolai needs is more. More information on Fyodor’s past life.
“Hey Fedya,” Nikolai spoke. The angel gave a slight nod of acknowledgment,eyes still scanning through his surroundings.
“How did you fall from heaven?”
As those words were said,Fyodor’s eyes went blank. He turned his head to Nikolai and stared at him, threat being written all over his face.
The albino flinched at Fyodor’s seriousness,half expecting it. Immediately,he rebuilt his composure and the grin returned, excitement overlapping fear.
“C’mon baby bird, be the obedient angel you are and tell me the reason,” Nikolai chuckled as he leaned in closer to Fyodor.
The raven haired stared at the albino,silently begging him to not ask any questions. Why did fate send him to be his companion on earth. The past is supposed ,no, must be in the past. It should remain unhidden from the present. So why a curious folk. Why one who wants to know of his past. It should be forgotten of,not reminded of. Discomfort was present within the angel’s body as he tried to build ignorance of the mortal’s advancements.
“Gogol,no,” Fyodor protested,yet all he received was a giggle from the other.
“It’s something stupid right,like rebellion,pride or even a woman. Is it a woman?”
“I said no-“
“So it is a woman! I can’t believe Fedya’s a little who-,”
A slap was heard and Nikolai’s cheek felt it was burning.
Oh what a mistake he made.
“Ah,Dostoyevsky~”
Everything went into a spur. Fyodor could not process anything. Next thing he knew his wrists felt stiff and his back was against the dining table. His wings spreaded for comfort. It did not help. His back was still aching. Arms were on top of his head. Heart running a marathon of beats. The albino's body on top of his. Warmth from the other invading his body. Oxygen seemingly low. His breath hitched. He tried moving. His back ache more. This could be interpreted as an intimate moment to behold. Fyodor knew this too well
Nikolai leaned in close to Fyodor’s ear. Fyodor’s ear felt warm. Humid. It caused a wave. A wave of emotions. Emotions he’d never thought he would feel. Submissiveness. Vulnerability. Fragility. Fear. All of them. Caused by a mortal. A mortal. A mere mortal. Yet…why?
“Oh Dostoyevsky, have you forgotten your position?” Nikolai whispered gently, threat sugarcoating it, “Have you forgotten whose house you’re in?”
“N-Nikolai I-“ Fyodor fumbled over his words,mind still processing the situation to properly give a response. Nikolai gently placed a finger on Fyodor’s mouth.
“Shut it rat,” He hissed,words in contrast to his actions, “You had the audacity to slap me and now you’re talking back? Pathetic,really.”.
Fyodor stayed silent,absorbing each word like a sponge.
“And just because I hit a soft spot? Really Dostoyevsky? That’s why you slapped me? I didn’t handed you to the authorities, I didn’t leave you on the streets, hell I didn’t use you for my own pleasure yet,and this is the thanks I get???” Nikolai ranted,a hand on one of Fyodor’s wings,gripping its feathers tightly, “Have you forgotten who controls the future of your life eh? I just wanted to know your damn your damn story of an angel,”
Fyodor stared into oblivion,attention not present on the albino. As much as he wanted to argue back,he was right. He slapped a man of curiosity. A mortal who actually bothered to know him. For who he was. Not what he was. And this was how he repaid him? He really was ungrateful like what they said…
A gentle tug of the raven’s hair forced his attention to the albino.
The rant continued.
“ I can’t believe a woman,a goddamn woman,was the reason to your-“
“It’s not a woman,” Fyodor interrupted,voice strained and shaky. All he wanted was to forget his past. That’s it. So why was fate making him remember it?
Nikolai’s grip on the wing grew tighter. Painful. All he could describe.
“Oh please Dostoyevsky, you and I both know that-“
“It’s not a woman…please…”
Nikolai’s brows slightly rose at the sight beneath him.
The angel’s cheeks were wet.
It fueled him even more.
“Not a woman eh? Then what is it? What is it that made you vulnerable like this?” The albino mocked,a grin grew that told silent sadism.
Fyodor stared at the man, the emotions he never wanted to feel grew stronger. Why is he like this? Why is he letting his past affect him like this? His mind was overwhelmed by such emotions,unable to mumble out useless protests.
“I-i…” The angel tried to speak,only for his voice to fail him.
His facade was breaking apart every second that passed. It seems like Nikolai had found his soft spot.
Nikolai carresed the raven’s hair,occasionally tugging it gently. He was flinching at each tug. How pitiful to see an angel cry. He wanted to help him. Introduce him to sin. More than he’d known. Good people have the most boring lives. Sin is simply a seasoning. He hated,no,despised perfection. This angel was the perfect example. That perfection broke. He fell from heaven. And he wanted to break it even more.
“Oh how cute of you Dostoyevsky,like the baby bird you are…” he cooed.
Fyodor was in a daze. This mortal had total control over him. He just needs to accept whatever comes to him,whether it is painful or humiliating, he is used to this anyways…
Just then, laughter came out of the mortal’s mouth.
“Oh Fedya…I just love to see you out of that calm facade of yours,did you really think I was going to do something to you? If that is so then you are absolutely wrong,my dear dove!” He giggled as he moved away from the angel.
The angel’s fear became puzzled in an instant. What just happened?
“Y-you’re not going to force my past out of me…?” Fyodor asked hesitantly as he sat up on the table. He sounded calm as usual again,much to Nikolai’s surprise. How can someone who was acting vulnerable and scared be so…nonchalant?
“Meh,” the albino replied, “Not a fan of interrogations, it’s brings shame to human rights,”
Fyodor’s were still scrambled up after his emotions have fooled him. This mortal was not unpredictable, he’s the definition of unpredictable.
“Say, Dostoyevsky, how about we play a little game hm?” Nikolai asked,that sad*stic grin returned.
The use of his second name,this mortal is serious. It’s getting interesting each second. Now it’s Fyodor’s turn to have his curiosity piqued.
“What is the game you’re going to propose…?” Fyodor returned the question,a slight smirk growing on his face.
“Smirking after looking pathetic just now? You’re funny, Dostoy,” Nikolai teased,that sad*stic grin of his growing,“It’s called ‘Stalking the baby bird’. I’ll observe your behavior and try to predict that past of yours,since you're stubborn enough.”.
“And what if you…’win’?”
“Just wait and see baby bird~,” The mortal chuckled as he held out his hand, “Shall we?”
The angel accepted the hand.
The tale has just begun.
